this is our LONG journey

Disney was a Success!!!

2011-08-09T11:50:00.000-04:00

We had so much fun at Walt Disney World. It was one of the best moments as a parent to see the true joy on your childs face. I know Megyn is under two, but there was SO much for her to see and get excited over. We spent the first day at the Magic Kingdom. Megyn absolutely LOVED it. She was Ohhhing and Ahhhhin everything. She wanted to walk almost the entire park. I got her a doggie backpack so I could let her explore, but still stay close to me.

She loved the freedom, she even walked us right to the day parade.

It started to rain in the afternoon, that didn't stop our little munchkin from having the Time of her Life, She got her Nana to walk her out in the rain...She had the Best time playing in the puddles and the rain.

We got back to the hotel and I laid her down for what I thought would be a quick nap...Well she woke up 14 hours later..LOL She was Worn out!!!

The Next day we went to Hollywood Studios. We had lunch at Hollywood and Vine, it was a character lunch with Megyn's Favorite Special Agent Oso. Handy Manny and June and Leo from little Einsteins were also there, but Megyn was all about Oso.

June....Not so Much....LOL

We also saw a Disney Jr play...We has to hold Megyn back when she saw Mickey....She loves OOOHHHTOODLES

Here is a picture of my Mom, Sister, Nephew Brother, Logan and Megyn

We still have 2 days left on our 4 day pass, we are going to return when it gets cooler and the tourists leave.

A great Blog to follow!!!!

2011-08-09T10:38:00.001-04:00

http://scbyastrid.blogspot.com/2011/08/sig-back-to-school-giveaway.html

Disney Here We Come!!!

2011-07-22T08:52:00.000-04:00

We are getting ready for our first Disney trip. Logan is not a fan of theme parks, he really doesn't like rides. But for his little munchkin he will make an exception. Logan is actually very excited about seeing Megyn OHHH and AHHHH at everything. She always wakes up saying OHHHTOODLES...and loves going to the Disney store. Logan even splurged and bought her the entire Tinkerbell outfit, she didn't want to take the wings off. My mom, brother, nephew and sister are also coming with us.

There are those people who tell us Megyn is too young and we shouldn't waste our money, but what they don't realize is this is just as much for us as for her. Logan and I have had dreams for years of taking our children to Disney. I am sad that I am unable to take my soon to be three year old triplets with us (because they are in heaven). This is a way to see our Rainbow baby enjoy all the things we were unable to do with our Trio.

I have vivid memories of my father riding the teacups with me as a little girl. He is now resting with my triplet angels, but will be with us at the park in spirit. Not a day goes by that I don't think about all of them. So we are going to Disney in their honor and we will have an Awesome time.

Logan and I have also decided to put any prospect of more children on hold for the time being, we are happy just being happy.

4th Of July

2011-07-13T19:30:00.000-04:00

We had so much fun celebrating the 4th of July. Megyn had fun at the block party we went too. She is wearing an original outfit from {SIG}nature Creations. I love being able to get things made with her name on them. Megyn really enjoys watermelon as you can see....We are so Blessed

Where did my Baby go????

2011-07-13T19:15:00.000-04:00

Where did my little baby go????

Megyn is 19 months and I feel like it has flown by. She is talking so much now and responding to what we say. She has started counting and can say Please and thank you. She is in LOVE with Tinkerbell. It feels like I put her to bed one night as a baby and she woke up as a toddler.

I have been struggling a lot lately on whether we should "try" for one more. I know for some people this is an easy no brainer...Well not for me....there is the issue of can I even get pregnant??? I still have a few frozen embies, but they are poor quality. And after the infertility struggle, I would have to deal with the pregnancy stress and possibly 7 months of bed rest. I struggle everyday with what we should do.

One day I want to have my Mirena taken out and just "see" what happens. and other days I feel like there is no way I want to struggle with all of the issues infertility and pregnancy will bring my family.

It is just so hard because on one hand I feel so Blessed to have one perfect daughter, but on the other hand i would LOVE to have another child. Well for now we are just going to enjoy each other and our little family.

We are gearing up for our first Disney Trip, we only live an hour away so it should be fun...

15 months

2011-03-14T21:14:00.001-04:00

We cannot believe Megyn is 15 months already. She is saying about 10 words and running all over the place. She can point to her body parts if you ask, and she LOVES to dance. She went to the local fair with her Aunt Rina this week and had a blast riding rides. Logan and I have been very busy this month opening our Law Enforcement Supply store. It is overwhelming but very exciting. Megyn has a blast attempting to reorganize the store.

Mirror image

2011-01-27T09:30:00.000-05:00

The other day I was hanging our family photo on the wall. Megyn was attempting to help. She was getting aggravated with me because I wouldn't let her play with the level or the hammer. Well my smarty pants 13 month old decided she would improvise. She went into her play area and got a plastic piece of bacon. She came running over to where I was and she was putting the piece of bacon on the wall as if she was using the level. It is so awesome to see the imagination of a child.

Where it all began.....Our LONG Journey....

2011-01-14T16:58:00.002-05:00

When I started this blog it was to document our Journey to parenthood...Well I jumped straight in to the parenthood part, well....because we were expecting....I really need to start at the beginning to really understand how we got to this place. So here it goes...it will take me several entries to tell the entire story, I don't want to rush it and I need to remember exactly how it all happened...

Quick story of me....I graduated High school early at 17, joined the Navy and moved from Florida to California..I had a studio apartment in Mission Beach, San Diego all before I officially "walked" at graduation. I got out of active duty at 20 and joined the reserves while I attended California State University San Marcos. I got married at 23 and divorced at 25....I was activated September 12, 2001...I spent 13 months in Guam. At first I hated it because I was in my senior year of college. I was able to finish college in 2003 and moved back to Florida. I decided to become a Police Officer, because I had experience in the Military I only had to attend a 2 week cross over academy. I started working for Clearwater PD on 1/12/2004...I was single and determined that I was going to swear off men and focus on my career. I had been on too many bad dates...well the first day of work I walked in to orientation and looked around... I noticed a very cute young guy sitting at the first table. I though to myself..Ohh this career thing is going to be hard. I remember the cute guy from the academy. He wasn't in my class but saw him in the halls. I introduced myself and through the next few weeks we started having lunch and spending time together. One night I asked the other people in my class if anyone wanted to go to happy hour. I was praying Logan would want to go...He said yes and so did a few other (not that I cared about the others) after a few drinks I got the courage to give him a kiss...Well after a few weeks of dating we moved in together. We took a trip to London a year later, bought a house and got engaged.

Logan and I knew someday we would want to have a baby together. I always wondered if I could actually get pregnant. I have always had problem periods that were associated with debilitating pain. My new doctor was awesome. He was the first doctor in my life that didn't think the pain was "in my head." He decided to preform laparoscopy surgery to see if I had endormetriosis. Well I was clear from that, but I did have a little blockage he cleaned out. He was very optimistic that I would have no problems getting pregnant on my own.

Logan and I got married in November of 05' at Sandals in the Bahamas. Our wedding was Simply Perfect....It was just us and we had an incredible 10 days. We even went shark diving 2 days after our I DO's. We were set in our lives. Our career was right on track, we had a cute home and were honeymooners...well what else could make our lives better..we thought hey we will try to start a family...

So right after the honeymoon, I threw my pills away....After 13 years of taking a little pill religiously every day, I figured it would take me a few months to get pregnant...So we started the FUN journey of "trying" to get pregnant. Six months went by and still nothing. I have never had regular periods so I wasn't too worried. I started seeing an acupuncturist. It helped start my period, but never helped actually conceive. So after a year of "trying" on our own I went to see my OB. He thought everything was fine, and thought I just needed a push...So he prescribed me clomid....I am someone who hates to even take Tylenol and here I was getting ready to take fertility drugs.. Well Logan and I really wanted to get pregnant...I made the mistake of telling people we were "trying" so the comments started and never stopped. Everyone had an opinion or questions...Some common ones were...

~so why aren't you pregnant yet?

~ are you pregnant?

~ Just relax...and it will happen...

~ you will get pregnant when you stop trying.....(really~WTH)

~ when it's your time it will happen.

~whats wrong with you?

~ when god is ready for you he will make it happen..

It was nice to be so blissfully ignorant back then. So Back to the Clomid. I got my prescription filled and had my instructions. With Clomid you have to take the pills on certain days of your cycle then have intercourse on other specific days...it kind of takes the fun out of "trying" but Logan and I decided we would make the best of it.....So I started the Clomid at the end of December right after Christmas in 2006. So January 2007 came and I started to feel a little "off" it's the best way I can explain how I was feeling.

~So one day I am at work having coffee with a friend and coworker. We were talking about my struggle and my desire to get pregnant. My friend reached across the table and grabbed both of my hands. I was a bit freaked out at first because we are both Cops and it would have looked a little odd to the other patrons at Starbucks. But what the hell, I went with it. He says to me that he has a gift and the last few women he did this too got pregnant...and had daughters. I laughed and told him he was funny....I went on about my week without thinking too much about that incident.

So Saturday was here and I was supposed to get my period sometime that week...but since I have never been regular I had no idea when it should actually come. I had to go to work at 3 and got the idea that I should take a pregnancy test...now you have to realize I was what some would call a "stick junkie" they were always negative and I decided to stop buying the expensive brands....So Logan was out with his brother and I had the house to myself. I went into the bathroom and pulled the dreaded white pee stick out of the box. I looked at it with contempt as I had so many other times. So I proceeded to piddle on the plastic disappointment stick...and then all of the sudden with in seconds I saw two lines...Of coarse I FREAKED out...I read the directions because I thought..oh what did I do wrong...I started shaking and couldn't believe my eyes... If you have ever wanted a child getting your first positive at home pregnancy test is one of the single most exciting moments ever.....Well like every other woman in the world I needed more confirmation...So like JUNO I proceeded to drink my weight in fluids and ran to the CVS. This time I didn't skimp. I purchased the most sophisticated test I could ever pee on..lol Clear blue easy digital...I got home and ran in to the bathroom...I piddled again on that stick...again within seconds POSITIVE....I was again SO excited. I realized at that moment that all of the other times when the tests were negative I didn't have to wait for....forever to check the test...when it is positive it will say it pretty quickly...So the test said POSITIVE...Of coarse I got the two pack...so I drank another 32 oz of water and piddled on the second one....again it said PREGNANT... I decided that I needed to figure out a way to tell Logan. I was supposed to be at work so I headed to Target to get him something baby related.

Well you would think my first call would be to my family....Well nope I called my friend from work and the first thing I said was "OMG you got me Pregnant" I meant it in a good way...but it sounded pretty bad...lol I told him his hand holding thing worked again....He was so excited for me.

So I went to Target and found these yellow little ducky booties. I got them and a pink teddy bear that said "babies first bear" I rushed home, By then Logan and his brother were home. I snuck the Target finds in my purse. I was happy to find Logan was in the shower. He had no Idea I didn't go to work. So I set the bear, booties, and the pregnancy test on the bed and I hid outside. When he came out of the shower I heard a scream. Then he yelled to his brother. Logan thought I dropped the things and went to work....He grabbed me when he saw me come around the corner. Logan has never looked happier. We went out with his family to dinner. I have to admit I loved the attention. On Sunday Logan and his brother went to the mall. They presented me with a Tiffany's signature blue box. I was excited to open it. Inside was a stainless steel baby rattle. Logan informed me that when the baby started teething he/she would leave teeth marks and we could get it engraved. Logan and his brother Paul wrote me the kindest notes.

So we were pregnant...We thought wow that was a long year but it was worth it. I had a September due date and was very excited because it is the only month that we don't have other birthdays or events going on. I called my Ob on Monday morning, of coarse they like to make the first appointments 10 to 12 weeks out, well I had to get a note to come off of patrol so I insisted on being seen. They did a urine test and confirmed what I already knew I was pregnant. They also did a blood test. They gave me my note and said they would see me in 6 weeks. We were so excited we told everyone who would listen that we were expecting. One of our friends told Logan that we should be careful about telling people in case we lost the baby....WHAT !?!? up until that point we never even considered that was an option. We already went through the hard part of trying for a year..nothing bad could happen.....right...wrong.....

I got a call from my OB's office. They explained that my beta numbers were very elevated for how far a long I was. They mentioned possibility of twins and asked me to come back for an additional blood test. After that test they asked me to come in for an ultrasound. Wow an ultrasound how exciting. Logan and I went to my Ob's office. I remember it like it was yesterday. We were in the lobby looking at other pregnant women. We were talking about all of the possibilities and day dreaming about everything. We made it into the ultrasound room. So since this was my first one ever I only knew what I have seen on tv. The woman told me to get undressed from the waist down...What....on tv you expose your belly they squirt goo on your tummy and they move a wand around on your stomach. I went with it and undressed. The ultrasound tech explained that they would be preforming a vaginal ultrasound...OH ok...Still had no idea, but I was too excited to care... Logan and I were joking and giggling...we were looking around the room at all of the pictures of babies on ultrasounds. We were so excited to see our little peanut.

So there was an ultrasound girl in training, Again I didn't care I just wanted to see our baby and find out if it was in fact twins. She loaded the condom over the wand and inserted it....Logan and I couldn't keep a straight face, it was a little funny that they put a condom on the wand. So I was laying there for what felt like forever. She kept going over the same spots. It was starting to get very sensitive. Logan was watching the screen. The ultrasound tech wasn't saying anything. I thought wow she is a BITCH. So I was asking questions she was being vague. It didn't take me long to figure out.....something was wrong..... Logan and I were no longer joking. I asked her if everything was OK..she said she had to get the doctor. So my doctor came in and said it was to early to see anything and he would talk to us in his office. At this point we were very confused.

My doctor came in and explained that I was experiencing a miscarriage.. WHAT...NO this isn't happening....We have tried to hard and too long....NOOOOOOOOO He further explained that they are unable to locate the pregnancy. He said he thinks I am having an ectopic pregnancy...He explained my options. He said I could take a methotrexate shot that will eliminate the pregnancy. He said the pregnancy could be in my tubes or I could try to miscarry naturally. Well of coarse I chose to let nature take its coarse....I was holding on to hope that there would be a Miracle. Well I had to go to his office every two days for blood work to make sure my beta was going down. The day after my appointment I started bleeding. It was awful. I have never been so devastated. I really felt like my heart was being ripped out of my chest. So I assumed I was miscarrying naturally. My doctor was very sweet and even explained that his wife had been through the same and went on to have children. I felt like all of my hopes and dreams were shattered. I took a few days off of work to regroup....My doctor called me on Wednesday night to check in on me. He wanted to know if I was having any cramping. I told him other than a broken heart I was physically feeling pretty good. About an hour later I was doubled over in pain. I couldn't stand up. I have never felt anything like this. I have a high pain tolerance and was gasping for air because the pain was so intense, Logan put me in the car and rushed me to the closest hospital.

We went into the emergency room. There were people all over the waiting room. The intake person could obviously see the level of pain I was in and they rushed me in. I was seen by the emergency room doctor, who contacted my OB's office. They explained that they do not have privileges at the hospital I was at and I needed to be transported to a different hospital. So an ambulance ride later I was in my room. They gave me pain meds and methotrexate. The pain meds did nothing to help with the pain. The nurse set Logan up a bed next to me and there we stayed. Hoping that I would not need emergency surgery to remove my tube. Logan and I were absolutely devastated over loosing this pregnancy, and to top it off we could have lost a tube which could stop any future pregnancies. After two nights in the hospital, I was released with both tubes in tact....
We were sent home to figure out what to do next. My doctor though I might have blockage in my tubes. He wanted to preform a procedure that pushes dye through your tubes. It helps unblock them and helps the doctor see if your tubes are crooked. I went in for the procedure. They said it wouldn't hurt....LIARS!!! It hurt like hell....But it was over before the pain got too bad... Logan and I went home feeling very optimistic... We felt we had a good chance of getting pregnant on our own.
Even though we felt we would have no problems, I decided to consult a fertility doctor. I just wanted to make sure I was doing everything right to conceive a child. So Logan and I headed to the fertility specialist. He told me that with my history I should have no problems, but he would prescribe Clomid to me...I felt like that was a big waste of my time, my regular OB already prescribed that to me.

I really hated the side affects of the Clomid. I was reluctant to take it again...Finally 9 months after my ectopic pregnancy, I decided to try the Clomid again. I had refills so I didn't need to see the doctor again. I filled the prescription and took it. I couldn't remember exactly how I was supposed to take it, but I figured I remembered enough. So two months in a row I took Clomid. The side affects were the worst, it turned me almost crazy. So no pregnancy during those two cycles. I decided to see my OB again to see what was wrong. Well it didn't take long to realize I took the pills on the wrong days. I went crazy for nothing...AHHHHHH So my OB gave me the correct instructions, I took them the right way in December 2007, and like clock work I found out I was preggers January 2008. I didn't even wait to tell Logan, I showed him the pee stick right away. We were cautiously excited. We decided we would only tell our family.
I called the fertility clinic and made an appt to get my blood test done. They saw me right away on Monday. I just new this had to be the one. Logan and I had sold our small two bedroom house and were building our dream home a 3000 sq ft four bedroom home on a lake. I felt like everything happens for a reason, and if we had, had the first pregnancy we would have never built a new home. This time it would be perfect. Our house would be ready in April 08 and the baby would come in September 08. How perfect. So I excitedly waited for my confirmation phone call. Later that Monday afternoon, I received the phone call from the fertility clinic. The nurse on the other end explained that this was not my time...WHAT???? not my time? are you sure? She said oh honey you are having a Chemical Pregnancy. She said that in their profession it didn't even count.....ARE YOU KIDDING ME????? it counts for me. We had dreams about this baby...Hell we went to Babies R Us and dreamed about how we would decorate the nursery....don't tell me that this doesn't count!! I hung up the phone, and felt like throwing up.
Poor Logan, he had no idea what to do. He felt so bad. I told him I was done, I needed to do something else. I couldn't take Clomid again...He agreed and we set another appointment to see the fertility doctor. This time I wasn't taking Clomid, I wanted an alternative treatment. The office set me up with an appointment in April. They wanted me to come in soon for blood work. After giving blood, I was contacted by a nurse who advised I had a condition called Polycystic ovarian syndrome....WHAT!!! let me get a pen, I need to write this one down. PCOS I have never heard of this... How come I was 30 years old and have been complaining about bad periods since I was 12 and no one figured this out until I was 30????? Well I did some research and realized I do not have the normal symptoms of PCOS...I am not overweight and I do not have excessive body hair. It's amazing that all it took was a simple blood test...Oh well at least I found out.
So Logan and I focused on moving into our dream home, and waited for our appointment with the fertility doctor.
To follow the rest of the story...visit our triplet blog http://www.havingtriplets.blogspot.com/

Cont......of Our LONG Journey

2011-01-14T16:18:00.001-05:00

So there we are sitting at the fertility clinic. I am looking around at all the other women there wondering what they were in for. Everyone else had the same scared look on their face as I did. It is so different being in the fertility clinics lobby VS. a normal GYN. So there Logan and I are in the same office we sat a year ago waiting to see what the doctor would suggest. As soon as he spoke I started to cry, I just felt like I was losing hope. I told him I didn't want to go through clomid again and I needed another option. He understood and explained IUI. He said that was where they made me ovulate with drugs and inserted Logan's sperm manually. He stated the procedure costs around $1500.00. Cost was a factor for us, we just built our dream home and our insurance does not cover any infertility. So I know in my mind I was thinking OK that's our next step. He stated that most people have to go through a cycle or two before they would succeed with IUI...WHAT more waiting????? I am done waiting I thought. So his next suggestion was IVF Invetro Fertilization. I have done my research and realized that would be way out of our price range. He explained it could cost anywhere from 15,000 to 20,000 dollars. I felt crushed.

Well in the same sentence he lets us know that his clinic was in the middle of a case study. He went on to explain that a round of IVF would only cost us $3000 and they would do a payment plan without interest. Omg one second I am feeling helpless and the next I am feeling re energized. We didn't even discuss it, we both said that's what we want. I felt like this was a gift from god. Who would have guessed our true Journey hadn't even begun yet.....

So we met with the coordinator. She asks us every question imaginable and tells us we would be accepted into the study. She gives us a pack of papers and disclaimers and tells us to read them over and sign them all. She sets us up with an orientation date. We sift through the mound of paperwork and head to the orientation about a week after the appointment.

We show up to the orientation and the room is filled with couples. We all that the same exhausted look on our faces. I didn't know what to expect. I didn't know anyone who has been through IVF. So we are there with our pens in hands. This awesome nurse Gayle is standing at the front of the room. She explains that she is going to go over all of the protocols and explain how to administer the shots. SHOTS??? Oh yeah that's part of it....So while Gayle is standing up there she goes on to say that everyone who goes through IVF wants multiples. She was being kind of negative and says they are not in the market of making each couple a bunch of babies but one healthy baby. Logan and I were thinking, yeah right Twins would be awesome. We could knock them out at the same time and honestly our first pregnancy was twins so we deserved them again. We just thought she was being a BITCH.....

So I started the cycle. Well the first thing they have you do is go on the pill for three weeks....WHAT??!!?? I am trying to get pregnant here...remember?????? Well I guess they want to make sure while doing all the drugs you do not get pregnant on your own. So after years of not taking any birth control, I found myself popping a pill every morning. Then the shots started. They start you off slow. Lupron, it goes into your leg and is a very short small needle. You hardly feel it....Then we graduated to stem drugs. These lovely shots went into your belly and the needle is a few inches long.

I ran out of needles for the lupron and had to go to the local drug store to get replacements, well you can get needles without a prescription....but the pharmacist will look at you like you do Heroin.....Really I'm a Cop for crying out loud.... LOL

So approximately 45 days after starting the pills I have my surgery date. This is the day they are going to take out my eggs and fertilize them with Logan's sperm. We were ready. We had to be there early. Logan was nervous because he had to "preform" at his best today...I mean everyone would be watching... HAHA So we get to the clinic and I get prepped for the procedure. Logan goes into this small room. it had a leather chair in the corner and a tv on the wall. He closes the door and I wish him luck. I change and lay down on the table. Before I have a chance to get comfortable the door to the room Logan is in swings open. I was like is everything OK???? He had a huge smile on his face and says "everything is great" he hands a cup to the nurse and I start dying laughing....He must have studied all night for that test...lol...

I am put under and when I wake up, I am informed that they were able to get 26 eggs. The doctor was ecstatic He said for my age and all the issues I have had it was great. So we were sent home and told we would be coming back in a few days for implantation.

The whole process is awesome and scary at the same time. We were contacted and told 24 of my eggs were fertilized naturally...To us this meant we were very compatible, Logan passed his test...lol

So It's transfer day, we show up at the office and are sitting in the waiting room. For this part of the procedure I do not have to be put under. I was given a Viocodin and told to take it before the procedure. I think it is to calm my nerves more than help with the pain. We get taken back and sit in a room with a round table, I am getting more anxious, because I know that the shot I got had to be taken at a certain time and we were getting very close to missing the window, Well the doctors know what they are doing and they are not going to let my cycle fail. Before long they came in and brought me to the procedure room. Logan was just happy he did not have to "preform" today.

There I am again lying in stirrups...Dr. Sanchez walks in and asks if we are ready to do this. We are ...yes... we are.... He asks the magic question...So how many are we putting in???? 2 or 3....Well with my age and our extensive history 3 seemed like the best odds. Dr. Sanchez said We only had a 1% chance of actually conceiving triplets...Without discussion, we both say Three.... Put Three back.....This single answer would haunt us for the rest of our lives....What if we just said 2....Well we didn't we said 3.

Dr. Sanchez opened the little metal door and pulled out a LONG straw, He took a moment and bowed his head saying a small prayer for our children. He brought the straw over to me and inserted my embryos in my uterus. I laid upside down on the table for a few minutes and was told to go home and wait. I would be returning in two weeks to find out if I was pregnant.

Well if you have ever struggled with infertility you know the TWW (Two Week Wait) Is Torture. It really is.. every twinge in your belly every minute of everyday...you wonder am I? Once it feels like it will never come you get the call from the doctors office saying you can come in tomorrow for you Beta test... OK Great. Logan was right there with me, we go to the doctors office and they draw blood....Well if you thought the TWW was bad??? the agonizing hours it takes for the nurse to call you back is worse. So after what felt like an eternity we got the pone call we had been LONGing for. We were pregnant...Well this was the first of several blood tests, we went back a few days later and the nurse advised us that we were VERY pregnant, my Beta numbers were though the roof. So we patiently waited 3 more weeks to get our first ultra sound to find out how many babies were in there. We figured two at the most, but we were excited of the possibilities of Triplets.

Ultrasound day was finally here, As I got out of the car I ran into another woman who had her transfer on the same day, She was holding her ultrasound picture and said she was having twins. I was so excited for her, but couldn't wait to get in and find out what we were having.

So we went back to the ultrasound room and anxiously waited for our answer..How many....My belly already looked like I was 3 months pregnant. I heard the ultrasound tech say there's one...there's two.....Then Logan and her together say there's three.....OMG I was over the MOON....I always wanted three kids, now I am getting them all at once.

I felt like all the years of struggling with the infertility were worth it..I hit the Trifecta!!!! Wait not so fast....To be cont...

Unexpected Melt down

2011-01-14T09:38:00.001-05:00

Today, I sit here watching my 13 month old Megyn dancing in the living room to ~Head~Shoulders~Knees~ and Toes. I can't help but smile even though now this song will be stuck in my head all day :)

Yesterday, I had the privilege of giving out two awards at work for two very special people... Tassie and Brenda organized a bake sale when we lost our Triplets, they helped raise the money needed for their funeral and headstone. I am on the City Awards Committee and get tired of watching people get awards for, "coming to work on time, and "being dependable" these are things YOU should do to keep your jobs not get an award for. So, I put them in for an award. They have not only helped my family in our time of need, but they have helped other families.. ones who are struggling with cancer and loved ones of officer involved shootings.

The Melt down, So there I am standing up in front of 75 people... all of the "higher ups" Chief, Deputy Chief, Majors, Lt, Sgt's, peers. I'm standing up there starting to give my speech on how they touched my life when all of the sudden with out warning they start falling...The TEARS...I really thought I was strong enough to talk about it with out crying. Nope not yet. I am a COP I am supposed to have a heart of steel. I am not supposed to show signs of weakness, oh well...at least the speech was heartfelt and deserved. I watched as strong men wiped their eyes, I'm sure they just pulled a nose hair at the exact moment. A few big Officers even said they felt as sad as when they watched the Notebook..LOL So the Moral of my story is "I am not as strong as I think I am", and because of that..others were also able to let their guards down and sympathize with me.

My wonderful Husband Logan also received an award for his duties on the Honor Guard team. This is a picture of us after the awards we presented.

Four Plus an Angel: I'm Still Standing- Featured Blogger

2011-01-07T10:08:00.000-05:00

Four Plus an Angel: I'm Still Standing- Featured Blogger: "I was so happy when I received an email from an amazing friend, allowing me to feature her here and share her story. I should not hav..."

Featured Blog

2011-01-07T10:05:00.000-05:00

An amazing woman and triplet mommy featured our story in her awesome blog. Here is her link. She has an inspiring story and funny blog that everyone would enjoy reading. http://www.fourplusanangel.com/2010/12/im-still-standing-featured-blogger_31.html#disqus_thread

A Year of Reflection

2010-12-31T11:06:00.000-05:00

Wow, this year has been full of ups and downs. I have never been happier watching Miss Megyn grow and learn. I know understand all the pain and suffering we had to endure to become parents, was well worth it. Megyn makes life worth living. I knew I wanted to be a parent, but I had no idea how Great it was actually going to be. The 1st year of any child life is full of new experiences. From watching Megyn touch sand for the first time~~ to watching her roll-over~~Sit-up~~Walk. It has been an amazing journey. I stopped blogging for a few months, thinking to myself..I have nothing to say. Well one night I went through my Blog and realized, this is not for everyone else, but for me. I loved getting to look back and reflect on my pregnancy and all of Megyn's "firsts" My goal in 2011 is to write more. So when she gets older I can reflect back and remember all of the "little" things.

This year has not come without struggle. I have struggled with dealing with grieving for my Triplets and the loss of my father. In the end, I have come out on top. I have many friends who are currently dealing with the struggles of infertility. I do not wish this struggle on my worst enemy. Infertility is a BITCH no one should ever have to experience. I am grateful that we live in a time, that there are medial interventions. I know for a fact that had I been born 30 years earlier I would not have had children. Everyday I look at Megyn I marvel at the fact she was frozen for a year. She is a perfect little girl. I have had people in my world look down on me because they do not believe in infertility treatments, because in their minds it is "messing" with gods plan. Well I have to tell you I do not agree. Looking at Megyn I have to say 'I DO NOT AGREE!!"

The question of the day lately has been.....So are you going to "try" for another.....Really..Um...NO. That is my final answer. I'm not saying No forever. But at least for a few years. I have a 5 year IUD and we shall see if I change my mind. But for now I am going to enjoy everyday of watching my munchkin grow. Not only will I have to go through IVF again, but my pregnancies are horrific, the full bed rest and other complications are not fun and I DO remember all the pain I have endured over the years. Maybe one day I will be strong enough to try again, but for now I am content and happy enjoying Megyn and getting "ME" healthy again. I am looking forward to an awesome 2011...

Christmas

2010-12-31T10:23:00.000-05:00

Megyn had a Blast on her 2nd Christmas. "Santa" got her a barbie guad...as soon as she saw it she got right on and started pushing the button. Every one thought "santa" was crazy for getting Megyn a riding toy, but She LOVES it.....She had a great time tearing open all her gifts. We are very blessed...

Santa~~ Well not for Megyn :)

2010-12-20T20:42:00.000-05:00

We took Megyn to see Santa, She really didn't like him. I felt bad that she cried, but we got the sweetest picture. It is So adorable now, but in 10 or 20 years it is going to be Awesome. Megyn took her first unassisted step this weekend. Of coarse Logan was at school and I was at work. My sister got to see it for the first time. Megyn hasn't "taken off" yet but she stands and takes 1 or two steps. We have also taught her to climb up and down the stairs by herself. She is our little miss independent. We can't wait to see her opening presents in a few days.

1 year Photos Awesome job

2010-12-12T20:33:00.000-05:00

We used the same photographer Jason L. Powell who did Megyn's Newborn Pictures.... http://jasonlpowell.com/blog/?p=1038 If you like the pictures..Leave a message on Jason's Blog...

Halloween Pics

2010-12-12T20:20:00.000-05:00

Halloween Pictures...She was our little Flower...

1st Birthday All about Ladybugs

2010-12-12T20:06:00.000-05:00

Megyn's 1st Birthday was AWESOME....She had so much fun in the Bounce house. We had a little melt down when 65 people tried to sing happy birthday to her. She cried a bit and really didn't wanna smash the ladybug cake I made for her. We tried it again later and she loved the cake. Megyn is still refusing to walk, I guess because she is so good a crawling. She can walk she just wont let go of our hands or the couch. She also had her 1 year doctors appt. and she is now 22 1/2 lbs and is 30 inches long. She is in the 65 percentile...Not bad for being 4 weeks early....

A year flys by....

2010-12-11T19:31:00.000-05:00

It's amazing when you are smiling almost every day how quickly a year can pass you by. I spent a year over seas after 911 and it felt like an eternity...Then you have a child and the days seem to zip by quicker than you can blink. Megyn is officially a Toddler. It's crazy everyday she changes and everyday I fall in love a little more. It seems impossible, but my heart gets bigger. Her birthday party was one for the record books, we had tons of friends, family and neighbors helping celebrate her 1st year of life. Her birthday has so many meanings for me personally, Her party fell on December 5th, which happened to be the two year anniversary of the Triplets funeral.

I did very well all day...it was hard not too, with the house of people..the D.J. and bounce house, it wasn't until the next day, that I fell apart. Grief....its a nasty little word that no one wants to talk about. Heck I experience it often and I don't wanna talk about it. This year was different than last year. I thought I would "hold up" better..nope not the case. Although I have found everyday life to go on, I found this year I fell apart worse than ever. Raidens Birthday was on October 17th. I went to work and planned on meeting Logan and Megyn at his grave to release balloons after.. Well I couldn't stop crying all morning. I left work early, and we went and celebrated his short life with the release of balloons and brought him a little truck. Megyn was having fun playing with the truck :). Logan and I decided we were going to start a tradition of bringing Megyn to their grave and remembering them. We then took Megyn to a fall festival where she got to ride a pony. Spending the day being able to grieve properly with Logan and Megyn made it possible to pull myself up off of the ground.

I found myself fighting to smell his scent one last time on his outfit I have had ziplocked for two years. I just wanted to have back the joy I once felt thinking about having my 1st born. Ryker and Gwyns birthday came on November 12th. We took Ryker a car and Gwyn a My little Pony and let Megyn release balloons for them. Afterwards we took Megyn to the zoo for the 1st time where she got to ride a Camel and feed a Giraffe.

I held up pretty well. Then the day after their funeral anniversary, again I fell apart. The sociology major in me realizes that Raiden's birthday is the beginning of the devastation and the funeral is the end. Being the control freak that I am, I do not like falling apart on a whim. I would prefer to schedule my grief...But if you have ever experienced this nasty little thing, you too realize you have absolutely NO control over when it will raise its dreary head.

Many people in my world feel that I should be happy, because I have Megyn...Don't get me wrong I am truly blessed to have such a perfect daughter. And I also realize that if i didn't lose my triplets I may have never unfrozen Megyn. But it doesn't lessen the sadness I feel over watching three of my beautiful children take their last breaths in my arms.

I had my physical this year and I had to "tell" my new doctor my history. I started to tell her everything that happened and I realized she had a Look of horror on her face, because I was smiling as I told her this horrific story. Then I realized, I never get to talk about my kids, I found myself so excited to bring their name up in conversation that I explained my whole "medical history" to this Doctor who really just wanted to know if my family has a history of diabetes. I have also scared some of the mommies at Gymboree. Because again I spoke about my Kiddos, When the lady said Oh... my... triplets... how old are they? and I said... oh no they passed away, she practically ran away...OOPS.....

I guess what my point is, If you know anyone in your life who has lost a child or a loved one. Life does go on and death IS a part of life. The person in your life who has lost someone thinks about that person probably everyday. Just because someone dies does not mean they are forgotten about...and it's OK to talk about death.

9 months

2010-09-08T16:44:00.001-04:00

Click here to view these pictures larger

Megyn is on the move...

2010-08-28T08:37:00.000-04:00

Well Megyn is almost 9 months old. She is growing so quick. She started crawling at 7 months and pulling herself up on everything and she is starting to walk assisted. She knows I am mama and Logan is Dada. She says other words like Hi and BaBa too. We recently went on vacation to Georgia and she went rafting down a small river in Helen, GA. She loved it, Megyn is going to be fearless. There was 13 of us staying in a huge house, Megyn Loved seeing everyone every morning. We recently bought and Ibert, it's a child seat for your bike. Megyn just loves going for rides.

Baptism

2010-07-12T20:50:00.000-04:00

Megyn was Baptized on 7/11/10. Father Gordon did the honors, He is the same priest who Baptized Logan and he did the service for our Triplets (Raiden, Ryker, and Gwyn's) funeral. It was a great day with friends and family. We are truly blessed....

Vintage Big Bird

2010-07-02T21:38:00.000-04:00

When I was little I had a Big Bird Chair, I just loved. I got it in the late 70's and my parents got rid of it when they sold our childhood home. I have really been thinking a lot about that chair since I had Megyn....Well thanks to Craigs List, I was able to find one Exactly like mine. Logan took the day off of work and we loaded up the mini van for a 5 hour road trip. We went to Ft. Lauderdale to pick up the chair. We bought Megyn's chair from the nicest lady. It was her son's chair. He was actually on Sesame Street and she has preserved it for over 30 years. She was happy it was going to someone who would appreciate it....appreciate it??? Are you kidding I gave her a big hug as I wiped the tears from my eyes....even though it is not "my" chair...it is nice to pass down a little something from my era....

Gymboree Graduation

2010-07-02T21:32:00.000-04:00

Miss Megyn Graduated to Gymboree Level 2. Our 1st of many graduations...

Father's Day

2010-06-19T20:56:00.000-04:00

As Father's Day approaches I am torn in a few directions. I am very excited for Logan to get to really celebrate being a Dad, Last year it was very hard, we just didn't feel like celebrating. This year I am very excited for Logan and have a few things in store for him...

This brings me to my ultimate struggle...I am mourning the loss of my father more now than I have in 6 months. We went to a celebration of my parents' friends' 50th wedding anniversary. I found my self tearing up more than once...It is hard not having him around..Not having him to laugh with me... I am what most would call..."Daddy's Little Girl"...I loved my dad more than anyone could ever love someone...In my eye's my dad could never do wrong...In my eyes he was my true hero...I have lived most of my adult life trying to please him...Staying in the Navy for 10 years, graduating College, Traveling the world. All of these things happened because I just wanted my father...my hero... to be proud of me.....Someone recently told me that I would "get over" loosing him....Really?!?! That will never happen...In life we have many loves and many losses....but you only get one Dad...There is a spot in my heart that will forever be lost..that will always be broken...a little over 6 months ago, a little girl..... lost her first true love.... her Father....This is something I will never forget or ever get over.

PS... Dad if you are listening... Thanks for the memories...Even though we were separated by 3000 miles when I joined the Navy. The trips you made to San Diego were some of the best memories of my 10 years there....Going to the Superbowl~ Watching the Bucs Kill Oakland..the after party..Then In and Out at 3 in the morning (Best burgers in the world)....Longbeach...Mr. Storks for my 21st birthday and teaching me the fine wine selection oh and creme brule...Driving me through Beverly Hills and Rodeo drive...Laughing cause the waiter thought I was your escort....My college graduation and my 26th Birthday..you and I closing a few bars then contemplating sleeping on the pool furniture because we forgot the key to the room, and we knew mom would be mad...Dancing the Father daughter dance at my wedding to the song YOU picked for us. "Angel" by Sarah M. It brought tears to my eyes then and now.... There are so many more~ I only wish my little angel Megyn could know her Grandfather the way I did...I so wanted to start her at Carries Dance Gallery so I could torcher you with dance recitals and the "Greatest Love of All" song finale....LOL only kidding, you sat (or Slept) through enough of mine....Please take good care of My Trio I know they are in good hands...I love you Dad...Happy Father's Day...I hope I made you proud....

6 months old

2010-06-19T10:05:00.000-04:00

Megyn is 6 months old...WOW have we been busy... She is growing so quickly, She now sits up on her own and loves to play with her toys. I get such a kick out of seeing her select her favorites. She gets up on all 4's and rocks back and forth...its only a matter of time before she starts crawling. It amazes us everyday how much babies change the first year. We got her ears pierced on her 6 month doctors appt. They put numbing cream on so she barely felt anything. She cried a lot harder for her shots than her ears. She looks so grown up with diamonds in her ears. She also graduated Gymboree...She is now in level 2.....she really started to get bored with the baby class...She says dadadadadadadadadadad all the time when she is happy...she says mama too but its only when she is crying and upset, talk about breaking my heart :)

5 months old

2010-05-17T20:13:00.000-04:00

Well Megyn is over 5 months old now. She is rolling all around and sitting up for short periods of time on her own. I always heard people talk about how quick their kiddos grow up...WOW are they right...Time is flying by. We have had a very busy month....Logan took me on our 1st date night since Megyn was born. He went all out and rented a limo, It was so awesome to have some alone time with Logan. We were still home by 9...lol....Then Logan surprised me on mother's day weekend with a room at the Grand Hyatt and an in room Massage...Oh my it was nice. Megyn did so good away from home. Then this past weekend was my Birthday and we spent it on ST. Pete Beach. Megyn played in sand for the first time and went in the ocean. Its very cool to see a small child touch sand for the 1st time, we take for granted that we know what it feels and looks like. Logan has been in SWAT school all week....he has been so bummed because he has missed two weeks of Gymboree. He gets the dad of the year award. I am adding a few pictures of Megyn. We had our police memorial this month, Megyn got to try on daddy's Honor guard hat. I weighed Megyn the other day, she is up to 14 lbs 4 oz....she is getting so big....

I MISSED IT!!!

2010-04-28T10:09:00.000-04:00

Megyn amazes us more everyday. She finally has rolled over from her back to her belly. This is a move she has tried for over 2 weeks, she would almost get all the way over, but her arm would always get in the way. Well of coarse I was home the first two times she did this, but I missed it. I would look over seeing her on her tummy...I would stare at her for a few hours and nothing, as soon as I walked a way BAM she would do it again. I started my work week and of coarse I kept getting calls from her daddy bragging about how great "HIS" daughter is and how she just rolls and rolls...I just want to see it!! every night when I go home, she would be too tired from rolling all day to show me...Well finally today I got to witness for myself what all of the Hype was about...Well I can say I cheered like she just won the superbowl..OMG it's amazing how happy and excited you get seeing your children accomplish something....I just hope she walks when I am home with her, so I can rub it in her daddy's face...LOL Just Kidding, honestly I am just happy one of us is always with her....

FUN TIME!!!

2010-04-13T08:25:00.000-04:00

Hi there...This is a message from Megyn's daddy...I was able to break away from the trance of my daugter's gaze long enough to send this message and then I will more than likely be sucked right back in...

I made this video a few days back; it is amazing how she is becoming so active, especialy with a 180 lb man wrapped around her finger...Enjoy the video and always smile and kiss your children even when they frustrate you !! Unless your one of the lucky ones like us, who never get frustrated, cause our baby is perfect!!!!

Eating Solids

2010-04-11T08:01:00.000-04:00

Wow, Megyn is 4 months old already. She is really interactive. She laughs and smiles all the time. We just can't believe how lucky we are. She sleeps from 8pm to 730am every night. She has started eating solids. She really enjoys eating with a spoon in her highchair. So far she has tried Peas and Sweet Potatoes. She loves them both. Currently her favorite toy is her rainforest jumper. She is too little to touch the ground but don't tell her that. We put a box underneath and she jumps and jumps....She gets pretty wild with it...I get such a kick out of watching her in it. Megyn loves sucking her thumb, she prefers her thumb over her pacifier. Yesterday Logan heard a weird noise coming from her, he looked down and noticed she was sucking her bottle and thumb at the same time....It is so cute cause she has such tiny hands....We can't wait to see what this month has in store for us...

Happy Easter!!!

2010-04-04T20:04:00.002-04:00

Our Easter Bunny....

Megyn's first pool experience....

Easter Day.....

Rollin..Rollin...Rollin

2010-03-28T17:23:00.000-04:00

Megyn rolled over for her daddy last week, well today she decided to show him up by rolling over 5 times for mommy!!!

Megyn's First Easter Bunny!!!

2010-03-25T20:19:00.000-04:00

Megyn got to visit the Easter Bunny tonight. She Loved him.....

Megyn's Flying Airmethods Helicopter

2010-03-14T09:06:00.000-04:00

Megyn's Uncle Paul is a pilot for rescue helicopter's for hospitals. Logan took her for a day of show and tell. He got some of the cutest pictures. She took a nap while Paul left for a flight. Logan said she slept during two helicopter landings.

What a Happy Baby

2010-03-14T08:55:00.000-04:00

Logan and I can't get over how awesome it is to be parents. So many people told us about all the bad things that go along with being a parent...Well we can't find anything negative...we love everyday with our little peanut. This is a video her daddy took of her. She got her first cold this week, although you wouldn't know it...she is always smiling and laughing.

Megyn is 3 months

2010-03-04T21:49:00.000-05:00

WOW where does the time go? Megyn is almost 3 months old. I took her today to get some photos, You have to do the milestones. They are no where near the quality of her newborn photos, but they capture the essence of our cute munchkin.....

Gymboree

2010-02-18T12:00:00.000-05:00

Megyn and I survived our first Gymboree class....Megyn had such a great time. I thought she would be too young...boy was I wrong. She loved tummy time and the clown puppet Gymbo. I had to buy him before left. She just loved seeing other babies. So this will a regular weekly event. Logan is taking her on Mondays and I an taking her on Wednesdays. Here is a picture of Megyn on Valentine's Day...Logan bought her a dress with cardigan before I got off of work. Megyn just turned ten weeks and she has started sleeping through the night. The first few nights I was up several times wondering why she wasn't waking up..I had to check on her several times..i am getting the hang of it now...

She is growing so big!!!

2010-02-10T04:35:00.000-05:00

Megyn had her 2 month check up on Monday. She is perfect...well that's what the doctor kept telling us. She is weighing 9lbs 5oz and is 23 1/4 inches long. We were just amazed that she is getting so big. She is starting to sleep longer at night, which is great because I am going back to work on Saturday. She slept 8 hours tonight...I wish I could have. I was so freaked out that she wasn't waking me that I watched her monitor for an hour... I am sure I will get used to it. She had to get shots at the doctors, of coarse I always laughed at women who told me they cried when their little ones got shots...Well add me to the crazy mommy list..I was a crying mess..It literally took me hours before I didn't feel like I was going to throw up. Hearing your child scream in pain at a place that you took them..makes you feel like a horrible parent...lol ....but it is for their own good and she forgot all about the pain in a few short seconds...I wish I was so lucky...we have two months before she goes back....I am going to have to figure out a way to weigh her...I can't wait two months to find out how big she is....

Where it all began...Our LONG Journey

2010-02-02T20:40:00.001-05:00

When I started this blog it was to document our Journey to parenthood...Well I jumped straight in to the parenthood part, well....because we were expecting....I really need to start at the beginning to really understand how we got to this place. So here it goes...it will take me several entries to tell the entire story, I don't want to rush it and I need to remember exactly how it all happened...

Quick story of me....I graduated High school early at 17, joined the Navy and moved from Florida to California..I had a studio apartment in Mission Beach, San Diego all before I officially "walked" at graduation. I got out of active duty at 20 and joined the reserves while I attended California State University San Marcos. I got married at 23 and divorced at 25....I was activated September 12, 2001...I spent 13 months in Guam. At first I hated it because I was in my senior year of college. I was able to finish college in 2003 and moved back to Florida. I decided to become a Police Officer, because I had experience in the Military I only had to attend a 2 week cross over academy. I started working for Clearwater PD on 1/12/2004...I was single and determined that I was going to swear off men and focus on my career. I had been on too many bad dates...well the first day of work I walked in to orientation and looked around... I noticed a very cute young guy sitting at the first table. I though to myself..Ohh this career thing is going to be hard. I remember the cute guy from the academy. He wasn't in my class but saw him in the halls. I introduced myself and through the next few weeks we started having lunch and spending time together. One night I asked the other people in my class if anyone wanted to go to happy hour. I was praying Logan would want to go...He said yes and so did a few other (not that I cared about the others) after a few drinks I got the courage to give him a kiss...Well after a few weeks of dating we moved in together. We took a trip to London a year later, bought a house and got engaged.

Logan and I knew someday we would want to have a baby together. I always wondered if I could actually get pregnant. I have always had problem periods that were associated with debilitating pain. My new doctor was awesome. He was the first doctor in my life that didn't think the pain was "in my head." He decided to preform laparoscopy surgery to see if I had endormetriosis. Well I was clear from that, but I did have a little blockage he cleaned out. He was very optimistic that I would have no problems getting pregnant on my own.

Logan and I got married in November of 05' at Sandals in the Bahamas. Our wedding was Simply Perfect....It was just us and we had an incredible 10 days. We even went shark diving 2 days after our I DO's. We were set in our lives. Our career was right on track, we had a cute home and were honeymooners...well what else could make our lives better..we thought hey we will try to start a family...

So right after the honeymoon, I threw my pills away....After 13 years of taking a little pill religiously every day, I figured it would take me a few months to get pregnant...So we started the FUN journey of "trying" to get pregnant. Six months went by and still nothing. I have never had regular periods so I wasn't too worried. I started seeing an acupuncturist. It helped start my period, but never helped actually conceive. So after a year of "trying" on our own I went to see my OB. He thought everything was fine, and thought I just needed a push...So he prescribed me clomid....I am someone who hates to even take Tylenol and here I was getting ready to take fertility drugs.. Well Logan and I really wanted to get pregnant...I made the mistake of telling people we were "trying" so the comments started and never stopped. Everyone had an opinion or questions...So common ones were...

~so why aren't you pregnant yet?

~ are you pregnant?

~ Just relax.

~ you will get pregnant when you stop trying.....(really~WTH)

~ when it's your time it will happen.

~whats wrong with you?

~ when god is ready for you he will make it happen..

It was nice to be so blissfully ignorant back then. So Back to the Clomid. I got my prescription filled and had my instructions. With Clomid you have to take the pills on certain days of your cycle then have intercourse on other specific days...it kind of takes the fun out of "trying" but Logan and I decided we would make the best of it.....So I started the Clomid at the end of December right after Christmas in 2006. So January 2007 came and I started to feel a little "off" it's the best way I can explain how I was feeling.

~So one day I am at work having coffee with a friend and coworker. We were talking about my struggle and my desire to get pregnant. My friend reached across the table and grabbed both of my hands. I was a bit freaked out at first because we are both Cops and it would have looked a little odd to the other patrons at Starbucks. But what the hell, I went with it. He says to me that he has a gift and the last few women he did this too got pregnant...and had daughters. I laughed and told him he was funny....I went on about my week without thinking too much about that incident.

So Saturday was here and I was supposed to get my period sometime that week...but since I have never been regular I had no idea when it should actually come. I had to go to work at 3 and got the idea that I should take a pregnancy test...now you have to realize I was what some would call a "stick junkie" they were always negative and I decided to stop buying the expensive brands....So Logan was out with his brother and I had the house to myself. I went into the bathroom and pulled the dreaded white pee stick out of the box. I looked at it with contempt as I had so many other times. So I proceeded to piddle on the plastic disappointment stick...and then all of the sudden with in seconds I saw two lines...Of coarse I FREAKED out...I read the directions because I thought..oh what did I do wrong...I started shaking and couldn't believe my eyes... If you have ever wanted a child getting your first positive at home pregnancy test is one of the single most exciting moments ever.....Well like every other woman in the world I needed more confirmation...So like JUNO I proceeded to drink my weight in fluids and ran to the CVS. This time I didn't skimp. I purchased the most sophisticated test I could ever pee on..lol Clear blue easy digital...I got home and ran in to the bathroom...I piddled again on that stick...again within seconds POSITIVE....I was again SO excited. I realized at that moment that all of the other times when the tests were negative I didn't have to wait for....forever to check the test...when it is positive it will say it pretty quickly...So the test said POSITIVE...Of coarse I got the two pack...so I drank another 32 oz of water and piddled on the second one....again it said PREGNANT... I decided that I needed to figure out a way to tell Logan. I was supposed to be at work so I headed to Target to get him something baby related.

Well you would think my first call would be to my family....Well nope I called my friend from work and the first thing I said was "OMG you got me Pregnant" I meant it in a good way...but it sounded pretty bad...lol I told him his hand holding thing worked again....He was so excited for me.

So I went to Target and found these yellow little ducky booties. I got them and a pink teddy bear that said "babies first bear" I rushed home, By then Logan and his brother were home. I snuck the Target finds in my purse. I was happy to find Logan was in the shower. He had no Idea I didn't go to work. So I set the bear, booties, and the pregnancy test on the bed and I hid outside. When he came out of the shower I heard a scream. Then he yelled to his brother. Logan thought I dropped the things and went to work....He grabbed me when he saw me come around the corner. Logan has never looked happier. We went out with his family to dinner. I have to admit I loved the attention. On Sunday Logan and his brother went to the mall. They presented me with a Tiffany's signature blue box. I was excited to open it. Inside was a stainless steel baby rattle. Logan informed me that when the baby started teething he/she would leave teeth marks and we could get it engraved. Logan and his brother Paul wrote me the kindest notes.

So we were pregnant...We thought wow that was a long year but it was worth it. I had a September due date and was very excited because it is the only month that we don't have other birthdays or events going on. I called my Ob on Monday morning, of coarse they like to make the first appointments 10 to 12 weeks out, well I had to get a note to come off of patrol so I insisted on being seen. They did a urine test and confirmed what I already knew I was pregnant. They also did a blood test. They gave me my note and said they would see me in 6 weeks. We were so excited we told everyone who would listen that we were expecting. One of our friends told Logan that we should be careful about telling people in case we lost the baby....WHAT !?!? up until that point we never even considered that was an option. We already went through the hard part of trying for a year..nothing bad could happen.....right...wrong.....

I got a call from my OB's office. They explained that my beta numbers were very elevated for how far a long I was. They mentioned possibility of twins and asked me to come back for an additional blood test. After that test they asked me to come in for an ultrasound. Wow an ultrasound how exciting. Logan and I went to my Ob's office. I remember it like it was yesterday. We were in the lobby looking at other pregnant women. We were talking about all of the possibilities and day dreaming about everything. We made it into the ultrasound room. So since this was my first one ever I only knew what I have seem on tv. The woman told me to get undressed from the waist down...What....on tv you expose your belly they squirt goo on your tummy and they move a wand around on your stomach. I went with it and undressed. The ultrasound tech explained that they would be preforming a vaginal ultrasound...OH ok...Still had no idea, but I was too excited to care... Logan and I were joking and giggling...we were looking around the room at all of the pictures of babies on ultrasounds. We were so excited to see our little peanut.

So there was an ultrasound girl in training, Again I didn't care I just wanted to see our baby and find out if it was in fact twins. She loaded the condom over the wand and inserted it....Logan and I couldn't keep a straight face, it was a little funny that they put a condom on the wand. So I was laying there for what felt like forever. She kept going over the same spots. It was starting to get very sensitive. Logan was watching the screen. The ultrasound tech wasn't saying anything. I thought wow she is a BITCH. So I was asking questions she was being vague. It didn't take me long to figure out.....something was wrong..... Logan and I were no longer joking. I asked her if everything was OK..she said she had to get the doctor. So my doctor came in and said it was to early to see anything and he would talk to us in his office. At this point we were very confused.

My doctor came in and explained that I was experiencing a miscarriage.. WHAT...NO this isn't happening....We have tried to hard and too long....NOOOOOOOOO He further explained that they are unable to locate the pregnancy. He said he thinks I am having an ectopic pregnancy...He explained my options. He said I could take a methotrexate shot that will eliminate the pregnancy. He said the pregnancy could be in my tubes or I could try to miscarry naturally. Well of coarse I chose to let nature take its coarse....I was holding on to hope that there would be a Miracle. Well I had to go to his office every two days for blood work to make sure my beta was going down. The day after my appointment I started bleeding. It was awful. I have never been so devastated. I really felt like my heart was being ripped out of my chest. So I assumed I was miscarrying naturally. My doctor was very sweet and even explained that his wife had been through the same and went on to have children. I felt like all of my hopes and dreams were shattered. I took a few days off of work to regroup....My doctor called me on Wednesday night to check in on me. He wanted to know if I was having any cramping. I told him other than a broken heart I was physically feeling pretty good. About an hour later I was doubled over in pain. I couldn't stand up. I have never felt anything like this. I have a high pain tolerance and was gasping for air because the pain was so intense, Logan put me in the car and rushed me to the closest hospital.

We went into the emergency room. There were people all over the waiting room. The intake person could obviously see the level of pain I was in and they rushed me in. I was seen by the emergency room doctor, who contacted my OB's office. They explained that they do not have privileges at the hospital I was at and I needed to be transported to a different hospital. So an ambulance ride later I was in my room. They gave me pain meds and methotrexate. The pain meds did nothing to help with the pain. The nurse set Logan up a bed next to me and there we stayed. Hoping that I would not need emergency surgery to remove my tube. Logan and I were absolutely devastated over loosing this pregnancy, and to top it off we could have lost a tube which could stop any future pregnancies. After two nights in the hospital, I was released with both tubes in tact....
We were sent home to figure out what to do next. My doctor though I might have blockage in my tubes. He wanted to preform a procedure that pushes dye through your tubes. It helps unblock them and helps the doctor see if your tubes are crooked. I went in for the procedure. they said it wouldn't hurt....LIARS!!! It hurt like hell....But it was over before the pain got too bad... Logan and I went home feeling very optimistic... We felt we had a good chance of getting pregnant on our own.
Even though we felt we would have no problems, I decided to consult a fertility doctor. I just wanted to make sure I was doing everything right to conceive a child. So Logan and I headed to the fertility specialist. He told me that with my history I should have no problems, but he would prescribe Clomid to me...I felt like that was a big waste of my time, my regular OB already prescribed that to me.
I really hated the side affects of the Clomid. I was reluctant to take it again...Finally 9 months after my ectopic pregnancy, I decided to try the Clomid again. I had refills so I didn't need to see the doctor again. I filled the prescription and took it. I couldn't remember exactly how I was supposed to take it, but I figured I remembered enough. So two months in a row I took Clomid. The side affects were the worst, it turned me almost crazy. So no pregnancy during those two cycles. I decided to see my OB again to see what was wrong. Well it didn't take long to realize I took the pills on the wrong days. I went crazy for nothing...AHHHHHH So my OB gave me the correct instructions, I took them the right way in December 2007, and like clock work I found out I was preggers January 2008. I didn't even wait to tell Logan, I showed him the pee stick right away. We were cautiously excited. We decided we would only tell our family.
I called the fertility clinic and made an appt to get my blood test done. They saw me right away on Monday. I just new this had to be the one. Logan and I had sold our small two bedroom house and were building our dream home a 3000 sq ft four bedroom home on a lake. I felt like everything happens for a reason, and if we had, had the first pregnancy we would have never built a new home. This time it would be perfect. Our house would be ready in April 08 and the baby would come in September 08. How perfect. So I excitedly waited for my confirmation phone call. Later that Monday afternoon, I received the phone call from the fertility clinic. The nurse on the other end explained that this was not my time...WHAT???? not my time? are you sure? She said oh honey you are having a Chemical Pregnancy. She said that in their profession it didn't even count.....ARE YOU KIDDING ME????? it counts for me. We had dreams about this baby...Hell we went to Babies R Us and dreamed about how we would decorate the nursery....don't tell me that this doesn't count!! I hung up the phone, and felt like throwing up.
Poor Logan, he had no idea what to do. He felt so bad. I told him I was done, I needed to do something else. I couldn't take Clomid again...He agreed and we set another appointment to see the fertility doctor. This time I wasn't taking Clomid, I wanted an alternative treatment. The office set me up with an appointment in April. They wanted me to come in soon for blood work. After giving blood, I was contacted by a nurse who advised I had a condition called Polycystic ovarian syndrome....WHAT!!! let me get a pen, I need to write this one down. PCOS I have never heard of this... How come I was 30 years old and have been complaining about bad periods since I was 12 and no one figured this out until I was 30????? Well I did some research and realized I do not have the normal symptoms of PCOS...I am not overweight and I do not have excessive body hair. Its amazing that all it took was a simple blood test...Oh well at least I found out.
So Logan and I focused on moving into our dream home, and waited for our appointment with the fertility doctor.
TO BE CONT......

Almost 2 months old

2010-01-31T20:58:00.000-05:00

Wow where does the time go???? Our little munchkin is almost 2 months old. She is doing so well. Megyn has started to focus on us and smile (just melts my heart) She grabs on to things... yesterday I was holding her and I bent over she quickly grabbed my shirt, as if I was going to drop her. We are enjoying every single minute with her. So many people told Logan and I...Just wait... Just wait.... until you are changing poopy diapers.... Just wait..... until you are up all night.... Well we have to do these things like all parents, but WE LOVE IT!!! I guess not everyone has been through what we have been through...4 years of trying.... multiple fertility treatments.... the loss of three of our children... well, all I can say is through all of the hard times, I kept looking for the "reason" although I will never understand why god took my three angels...I can tell you Logan and I appreciate our daughter more than most people because we know what it is like to, long for a child... Then to have three, just to have them taken from you. So to all of you out there who say....Just wait.... Well we are waiting.... and we are LOVING every minute...

The Pictures are IN!!!!!

2010-01-14T08:19:00.000-05:00

Hot off the Press!!!!

Megyn's professional pictures are complete. Here is the link....Make sure you have your sound on!!!

http://www.jasonlpowell.com/uploads/MLong/

Megyn had her one month check - up this week, she is growing so fast. She was 7lbs 4 oz and 19 1/2 inches. She is perfectly healthy and very happy. Logan and I feel so blessed to have our perfect little girl. We just know we have three little and one big guardian angels up above.

She is starting to LOVE tummy time. We are excited for her to start interacting with us more. She is able to focus on our faces. Logan is back to work and I have a few more weeks of maternity leave left....We are still hopeful we will win millions with publishers clearing house so we can both stay home and watch her grow... LOL :)

3 Weeks Already!!!

2009-12-29T16:13:00.001-05:00

WOW~~~ Megyn is 3 weeks old today...The time is flying... She will be headed to college before I know it... She had a Doctors appt. today, She is now 6 pounds and 19 1/4 inches...The doctor is very happy with her progress and says he is very healthy....We can't wait to get our professional pictures of Megyn back...Jason did such an awesome job...We are so happy we found him...We will post the picture when we get them...This is our first family photo....

Check out Pictures of Megyn

2009-12-21T19:52:00.001-05:00

We got professional pictures of Megyn done yesterday... We need your help... go to www.jasonlpowell.com go to his blog and you will see pictures of Megyn...Leave a message on what you think...if we get enough messages we get a special picture....They are SO good. I can't wait to get all of the pictures back.... Enjoy....Oh and come back here and let us know what you think... We are pretty proud of our little one......oh and when you read what Jason wrote about Megyn you will get a laugh, because she pooped on everything we put her on...It was wild how a 6 pound baby can crap SO much....lol

A little note to Megyn

2009-12-17T21:52:00.000-05:00

Well baby Megyn you are just over a week old and your daddy and I can't believe how perfect you are. You are breast feeding like you have been doing it forever..You are hardly ever fussy only when you get hungry or you need a diaper change...You just love when your daddy swaddles you..It amazing how you calm down as soon as you get a "daddy swaddle." You are learning where you fingers and and have been trying to suck your thumb (just like your mommy did as a little one). You have the most beautiful lips, everyone thinks you look like your mommy...I was hoping you would get your daddy's feet, however it looks like you will be blessed with my flinstone feet (sorry munchkin). You remind your mommy and daddy a lot of your big sister Gwyn, because she always wanted her hands by her head. You always have your hands by your ears, except when you get a daddy swaddle...and even then sometimes you manage to get your arms free...So this week you have pooped on your mommy. I was changing your diaper and there it went projectile poop all over my tummy...I laughed so hard...it was so adorable, of coarse you weren't done and you decided to piddle on me too...You just love sleeping on my belly..I just love it...well until I am trying to feed you, don't worry I usually put a wet washcloth on your head and you eat away....Your daddy can't stop taking pictures of you, because we just think you are perfect....I just hope that when you get older you will realize how much your daddy and I love you....

The top picture was your daddy and I having fun with you by the Chrismas tree. The bottom one is right after you pooped on your mommy...You look so proud...lol...I love you Munchkin

Megyn Pictures

2009-12-14T13:27:00.000-05:00

Well it has been almost a week since we welcomed our little princess into this world... We are still very happy and excited. She sleeps a lot so I have to wake her every 3 hours.. She is great at night. Logan and I feel great. Megyn has had many visitors. Our lab Koko loves her sister. Koko acts more like a mommy than a jealous sibling. Here are a few pictures we have taken. We are having professional pictures taken Friday, I can't wait to see how they turn out.

Megyn has arrived......Early!!!!

2009-12-10T17:36:00.000-05:00

Megyn Velynda was born on 12/8/09 at 0212 am. She weighed 5 lbs 13 oz and was 18 inches long. She was born at 35 weeks 4 days. Megyn scored a 9 our of 10 on her apgar test. She is absolutely perfect. She was able to stay with Logan and I the entire hospital stay and we came home on 12/10/09. We feel so very blessed to have her in our lives....

Her birth story.....So I had been having contractions for weeks. I was on pocardia to help control them...Well on Monday 12/07/09 I was having more contractions than normal...We had dinner and I was just very uncomfy...I complained to Logan that I was done. I have been having contractions for too long and I just wanted to deliver her (I should have been careful what I wished for) So I got into bed and drank water around 7pm..I tried to relax and control my contractions. Well they were coming every 5 to 6 minutes apart. I really did not want to got to the hospital because I felt they would just send me home...Well at around 10 pm..one of my L&D nurses was on facebook...So I asked her, her opinion on if I should go to hospital or not. She advised that I should contact my doctors office. So I did. Dr. Monte called me right back..when I told him what was going on he told me to go to L&D...So I got up showered and packed a bag...We got to the hospital a little before 1 in the morning. Still thinking they would just send me home...We didn't bring Megyn's bag or carseat...just our stuff...Well once they checked me into triage..they called Dr. Monte...I heard the nurse say 30 minutes!?!? I asked Logan what was going on...he said he couldn't hear.. I figured they were going to give me a shot or put me on Mag sulfate to stop the contractions, because by now they were 2 to 5 minutes apart... The nurse rushed in and so did the charge nurse, they both started prepping me...I asked what was going on..They explained they only had 30 minutes to get me ready for a c section...I was like ...WHAT!!??? Totally did not expect this...Logan had enough time to run to the car and get the camera before they wheeled me to surgery...by 145am I had my spinal block and was waiting for surgery...I heard the Doctor say they were ready for the incision..and I realized Logan was not in the room yet. They ran and got him in time..It felt like it took for ever for them to get her out...Finally at 212 am I hear the loudest scream and lip quiver ever...She was so pissed to be yanked out of her cozy belly...Logan was able to cut the cord and stayed with her while she was cleaned up..Finally after what felt like FOREVER they brought her over to me...I couldn't hold back the tears of joy...Logan escorted her to the nursery. I had another hour of surgery left. Finally I went to recovery..Logan came in a few minutes later with Megyn...We were both so amazed they just gave her to him...We just weren't used to being normal parents...We held her for a while..She was so perfect,,,,,I was so in LOVE... We finally got to our room around 5 am they tried to let me sleep for an hour, but all I wanted was my little baby...they finally brought her to me...So needless to say, we did not sleep for the entire first day...she stayed in the room with us the entire time and has been just perfect,,,Logan and I are so happy to have our little munchkin. We both did so well they discharged us a day early. We are really enjoying being home where we can relax without tons of people coming into our room every 10 minutes....

2 weeks left!!!!

2009-12-03T15:18:00.000-05:00

We had another doctors appt yesterday at 34 weeks 5 days. Megyn is weighing 5 lbs 7 oz. She is doing awesome. I am still having contractions about every 10 minutes. but my doctor thinks I can hold out another 15 days. I am just resting as much as possible. I finished all of my Christmas shopping. So now we are just patiently waiting for her arrival.

I had a friend Jim Houck from jameshouckphotography.com take some preggy pictures of me. He did a great job. I wasn't sure I wanted them, because if you have ever been pregnant you feel HUGE...but I knew that I would regret not getting them in years to come. So here are a few of the pictures.

34 weeks

2009-11-30T19:24:00.000-05:00

We have had an exciting week this week. Last Sunday night Logan went to work. I knew I had been having contractions here and there, but I really started to feel them more often. I had to get Logan to come home from work and take me to the hospital. Well by time they checked me into labor and delivery I was having contractions two minutes apart...So we started meds and they gave me a shot to try and stop them. Over night after tons of meds and two tebutiline shots we were able to get them to slow to 6 minutes apart. I stayed in the hospital for 2 days and was released. I still am having contractions but they are 10 minutes apart. So we are trying to hold out until December 18th. I was given steroid shots in case she decided to make an early appearance. The worst part was my entire family was on a cruise. So they wouldn't have know if she came...Thank god she didn't. We really want to deliver in the new baby hospital, we HAVE to make it to the 18th for that to happen. After 2 nights in the hospital Logan and I realized how many memories we have from that floor and we do not want to go back. Logan got a cold while in the hospital, so I caught it too....Not fun being pregnant with contractions and a cold....We have an appt on Wednesday we will get to see how big she is getting....

3D Megyn

2009-11-12T18:49:00.000-05:00

We had a doctors appt this week on Tuesday....at 31w 4 days...Megyn looks awesome. As the ultrasound tech was doing our ultrasound...Logan was commenting on how cool it would be to see Megyn in 3D. The ultrasound tech ignored him.... Well Dr. Monti must have ESP because when he came into the room he said he wanted to see her so he asked the ultrasound tech to do a 3D...We were so excited. We paid to have it done with the triplets last year, but because of bed rest we were unable to do it this time. Dr. Monti said he wanted to see her in 3D every week...so we shall see....

Ever since we scheduled the delivery all the nurses and staff have been saying that Dr. Monti does not deliver on Fridays and he is on vacation on December 18th... So Logan started asking Dr. Monti about the rumors...Dr. Monti assured us he was coming off vacation to do our c section. Logan figures he will ask every week just to make sure :)

Megyn's Birthday

2009-11-05T22:08:00.000-05:00

Megyn's Birthday will be...... December 18th, 2009.... So 52% of you were correct....She will share the same birthday with her late great-grandmother (my dad's mom) Emily and Logan's late uncle Paul. As well as Brad Pitt :)

We are very excited to have the date and we can now count down the days until she arrives. We had a doctors appt this week at 30 w 4 days...Megyn weighs 3 lbs 12 oz and was measuring 5 days ahead... I have an Ammino scheduled for December 17th to make sure her lungs are fully developed. If everything looks good, we will get to meet her on Friday the 18th she will be exactly 37 weeks.

For those of you who live in our area you know there is a new Baby Place hospital...Well Megyn will be one of the first babies delivered there.. We are very excited, because it will be brand new...

I am now seeing the doctor every week...We do not mind, I just love seeing Megyn all the time...So 6 weeks until we get to meet our little one...My mom took us shopping after my appt to get a bunch of necessities...it is amazing how much you need...or want..lol for a little one....Thanks Mom it was such a fun day :)

We Know the Delivery Date!!!

2009-10-24T13:32:00.000-04:00

We had a doctors appt this week...It went awesome.. I had to do my glucose test...So far no news on if I passed. I guess I will find out next week... The doctor informed me that they are no longer worried about my cervix. So they will not be checking it anymore... I was very worried when he first told me this...But be explained that my cervix is fine and it will naturally start to shorten..So Logan and I asked him if we could get my c section date nailed down...He let us pick the date..I will tell everyone what the date is at a later time, so make sure you vote on your choice...We will have to do an Ammnio the day before my c section to make sure Megyn's lungs are fully developed. I am so excited to have a date...it makes the count down more fun....We got her stroller in the mail yesterday. We had to order it because Babies R Us does not have pink Chicco strollers in the store...We did not want neutral as you can see from her nursery...lol.... Thanks mom for the funds to get the last of the needed items for her :)

What a Weekend.....

2009-10-20T22:49:00.000-04:00

We had a pretty long weekend this week. Saturday 10/17/09 was our first born Raiden's birthday. Logan and I celebrated by visiting him at the cemetery and releasing balloons in his honor. When we got there we noticed flowers and toys left by very special people. It was nice knowing so many people care about our little ones. We love and miss you Raiden Landon.....

On Monday 10/19/09 we had the memorial service for my father. There were so many people there to honor him. He was loved by so many. Many people from his past gave speeches and told stories. I just loved hearing about how much he touched their lives. I know that was my favorite thing to do with my father; tell stories. I could go on forever talking about the fun times with him. I miss him so much. everyday and am truly saddened that Megyn will never get to know what a great man he was. He was taken from us way too early. If I have learned anything from the past year of my life, it is to not take life for granted and to cherish everyday and everyone around you. Dad take care of my trio..I love you and can't wait to see you again one day.

Megyn's Nursery

2009-10-09T10:04:00.000-04:00

Here is Megyn's room. It is fit for a princess. Including a pink Chandler. We did not go with a theme, but it ended up being a little vintage, which I just love. It is hard to see but over her crib is a dandelion that is being blown across the room. We just love the room and yes we realize she will most likely hate pink when she grows up...lol

Megyn at 26w6d

2009-10-09T09:51:00.000-04:00

We had another appt. yesterday at 26 weeks 6 days Megyn is weighing in at 2 lbs 5 oz. and was measuring a day ahead. She was sleeping during the appt. We were poking her trying to wake her up she moved a little, but went right back to snoozing. She had her feet and hands over her face. It was a little difficult to get a good profile shot. I have to do my Glucose test next visit, he was going to sneak me in on this visit, but I had to confess I ate two doughnuts for breakfast. So no test for me...My cervix was actually longer than it has been this entire pregnancy it was almost a 6. My doctor called me a hero. He rarely sees compliant patients, but he remembers that with the triplets I barely moved in my bed for 2 months. He knows I will do what ever is necessary to bring Megyn home healthy.

A Great Loss

2009-10-03T20:26:00.001-04:00

Today, I lost one of the most important people in my life. My father passed away this evening. He meant the world to me and always made me feel like "daddy's little girl" even at the age of 32. I got to enjoy so many awesome memories with him. We went to the Super bowl together when the Bucs kicked Oakland's Butt....Man He loved to talk about that day. My dad was a world traveler, that's where I inherited the travel jean. I am going to miss asking him about a city and he spouting off the best Joint to get food and a nice drink in that town. We knew he had cancer and his time was coming to an end, but it does not make it any easier. My three angels Raiden, Ryker, and Gwyn have their grandpa looking after them now. As a kid we loved asking dad if we could do something, because he couldn't resist saying no to our cute faces...So I just know my three little ones will get to do what ever they want in heaven. Dad I miss you so much and I love you so Big... Keep an eye on my little ones and I will see you all again one day.....

This is a picture from when I was pregnant with the triplets...

BLOWING BUBBLES!!!

2009-09-23T21:00:00.001-04:00

Hubby here checking in on the blog site...Cathi is doing so well and I am so proud of how she has done on bedrest...She is going to be the greatest mom in the world...Speaking of Cathi, she has this unique trick that she does when she is goofing around....She can make bubbles on her tongue with her saliva and blow them around as if she was blowing bubbles from one of those hand held ring devices you see kids with...The reason I mention this trick is the picture you see attached...Apparently our little Megyn has inherited her mother's trick because it appears as if she is blowing bubbles in the womb...I also think she will look like Cathi, I can see the cute little button nose and those gorgeous Cathi lips..

Most of my aforementioned banter is all play, but I really do think Megyn will look like Cathi and I am certain that Cathi will be an awesome mother...She is the perfect wife, so I can't imagin her being anything else than a perfect mom to a perfect child...

Picture was taken at 24 weeks 5 days....

She's Growing Big....

2009-09-10T14:13:00.000-04:00

We had another doctor's appt yesterday at 22 weeks 5 days. Megyn Looked great. She is weighing in at 1.3 pounds. That is big for us, because I delivered Raiden at 22 weeks and he was 15 oz, I also delivered Gwyn at 25w5d and she was only 1.5 lbs...So needless to say we know what Megyn looks like inside..

Here is a belly picture Logan took of me before we left for our appt. My cervix is still holding strong. We have also started working on the nursery...It should be complete in the next few weeks. We will post pictures then...

Bed Rest Dog......or Hog?????

2009-09-01T15:03:00.000-04:00

Well I have been on bed rest for two months now. It hasn't been that bad. My dog Koko never leaves my side..literally...She is such a bed hog....I am not complaining I love it. She is so sweet... I just wanted to share this picture Logan took of us last night...Come on Christmas...I can't wait!!!!!

Cervix of steel!!!

2009-08-27T21:24:00.000-04:00

We had another Peri appt yesterday at 20w 5d...Megyn was moving all over and my cervix is still holding strong. This complete bed rest must be working. After my appt Logan snuck me to Babies R S for a 20 min. wheelchair ride....I So needed it!!! We picked up some storage baskets. I had been going a little crazy not seeing outside in a while. Logan is awesome and knows exactly what to do to make me happy. I will be able to go another 2 weeks NO problem. The only real complaint is I have a nasty pregnancy rash. It has gotten a little better, but wont go away until delivery, which is only 16 weeks away..since the dr will only let me go to 37 weeks... I am So excited for my Xmas present. It is going to be the best Christmas EVER!!!!

And the Name IS..............

2009-08-19T15:20:00.000-04:00

Our baby girls name is......Megyn Velynda.......

Ever since I have wanted to have a baby I always thought I would name her Caitlyn Elizabeth, Because I am Catherine Elizabeth.....well when we were pregnant with Gwyn, I ran into tons of Katies, Kaitlyns, Kate's....Logan and I decided we needed something different... When we chose Gwyneth Bella...We never imagined we would have to pick another beautiful name.

Well...My father was diagnosed with stage IV cancer in January. My sister and I were sitting with him in the hospital after his first procedure. We started talking about family names. Well out of the blue my father (who if you knew him is not the sensitive type) told my sister and I that his favorite name was Velynda. He explained by saying she was a Magnolia Queen of 1913. My dad is a history buff. I immediately pulled out my notebook and wrote the name down. I just knew that if I had a daughter the name Velynda would be in there somewhere.

The name Megyn came from her daddy... I, like I have every other pregnancy went into panic mode around 10 weeks...I researched every name from the social security website back to the 1900's. Logan and I were on our drive home and I pulled out my list. Like always, he acted excited to discuss it....as I went through my list he said no to many and maybe to a few. Brooke was actually one of my front runners. Well Logan and I are both police officers for Clearwater PD and have had to deal with the Hogans on occasion. He thought the name Brooke reminded him too much of Brooke Hogan.

I asked him if he had thought of any names....He said actually I like the name Megyn with that spelling....He went on to explain he liked it for two reasons. #1 because he likes Megyn Kelly from Fox news and #2 he loved the spelling because it reminds him of our angel Gwyn.....So I wrote Megyn and Velynda together and it was settled right there if we were having a girl it would be Megyn Velynda Long.

I was very happy we learned the sex of her early, My father is nearing the end of his fight with cancer. We were able to tell him the name we picked. I know he was touched that we thought of him. He will most likely not get to meet his grand daughter, but she will always carry a piece of him with her.

Awesome update!!! 8/13

2009-08-13T11:16:00.000-04:00

Hello everyone, We had a doctors appt. yesterday at 18w5d. I was getting a little nervous about the appt. because I am getting further along. Logan and I were in the ultrasound room and doctor Monti walked in. We were watching our little girl moving all around. Both of us were very excited to see her, but we still had my cervix length in the back of our minds. Monti looked at the ultrasound tech and said "her cervix is very short, and we need to..." Logan and I both went into panic mode, I was thinking hospitalization. I was still holding up pretty well. Then they explained they just wanted to do a trans vaginal ultrasound. Monti wasn't saying my cervix now was short, he was just explaining we needed to look at my cervix. So they start doing the trans vaginal U/S, Logan says my prediction is 5.3....I laughed and told him my cervix has never been that long, even when I wasn't pregnant. My nurse laughed and said, Logan is right. I couldn't believe it. The longest my cervix has ever been is 4.1. When I had my cerclage put in it was only 1.5. This bed rest thing is really working. I am so excited. Here are a few pictures of our little one. I will reveal her name next Wednesday...There is a great story that goes with why we chose the name we did.

She is looking Great!!! 7/29

2009-07-29T15:25:00.000-04:00

Today I am 16w 5d...We had our Level 2 ultrasound, Our little one is doing awesome. All of her parts are growing perfectly, and we are still having a GIRL she currently weighs 6oz. She is an ounce bigger than the average...YEAH!!! I am still on strict bed rest, but my cervix looks awesome and is holding strong. I am going to keep doing what I am doing and we will make it to Christmas!!! Logan wants to write "Don't open til Xmas" on my tummy. He is taking great care of us...Not a lot going on...I get very excited when I get to shower. So that's pretty much my excitement right now.

Logan made me a bed in the Nursery this week so we could start going through all of the baby stuff we have from the triplets. Currently the room is painted chocolate on the bottom with a chair rail and each wall is a different color green, blue, pink, and yellow. The crib is decorated all pink and chocolate. Logan really wanted to paint the room pink, So in the next few weeks it will be pained all pink on the top and chocolate on the bottom...very cute....she is going to be a princess....my luck she will turn out to be a "Tom Boy" well not until she can dress herself..lol

It's Official...It's a GIRL!!!!!

2009-07-16T11:03:00.000-04:00

Its a GIRL!!!!! We had a doctors appt yesterday and got to see our little baby...she is so active..she was kickboxing, The u/s tech asked if we wanted to know the sex..We couldn't say yes fast enough...She flipped the wand over to between the babies legs and plain as day...3 lines...Heck I'm not a professional, but I said GIRL as soon as I saw...Logan was so excited he couldn't even stand it. He wanted a girl so bad...it is funny how most people think all men want a boy, not Logan he really wanted daddy's little girl. The doctor came in and checked my cervix, it has gotten longer. We were so happy and shocked we almost started to cry. The bed rest is working...so I will continue to rest as much as I can....What a morale boost yesterday was...

Cerclage Surgery is Done 7/8

2009-07-08T11:56:00.000-04:00

Today we woke up at 5 am like every other work day. But today we didn't go to work we headed to the hospital for surgery. Since my cervix is incompetent I needed surgery to sew it shut. I arrived at the hospital at 630 am. I was nervous because we had not been to labor and delivery since we delivered the triplets. The smells and the sounds were very familiar. I was a little nervous at first but had many visitors to my room. It felt more like a reunion and less like a medical procedure. It felt nice being welcomed and cared for by the nurses and doctors. Dr. Monti came in and did an ultrasound. It made me feel a little more at ease seeing our little one. I caught Dr. Monti looking between the babies legs. He always wants to be the first to find out the sex. He said it was still early, I asked him what his professional guess is. He said I still think you are having a GIRL. We will find out in a few weeks if he is correct :) I was able to walk into the surgery room, very very different from last time I was here. I never walked anywhere.

I got the spinal block and was placed on the bed. Dr. Monti worked his magic. Unfortunately it didn't go as well as planned. My cervix has already started to shorten. It was a very good thing I came in today for the procedure. He was able to put the stitch in and we are praying it holds. I will be monitored very close and he will place an permanent abdominal cerclage if needed. We will do what ever it takes to keep this baby in until Christmas. I am now on complete bed rest no privileges, but bathroom. So i is going to be a very Long 6 months. I am just glad I have the world greatest husband.

New Bra...For Me or Him???? 6/29

2009-06-29T15:30:00.000-04:00

So this pregnancy is different than my last. I only needed bra extenders last time. Not the case this time, so Logan and I headed to the mall for new bras.... We went to Maternity Motherhood because I figured I would just get nursing bras..plus they are a lot less expensive than V.S. I don't plan on being Dolly Parton for ever...lol The helpful girl at the counter helped measure me...when she said 36E I almost passed out...I think I heard Logan saying...YES!! under his breath. So she handed me 8 bras to try on. I asked Logan for his opinion. He came in the dressing room so I didn't have to flash the other women in the store...I tried on a racer back bra and was a little confused because there were no hooks...Logan says, oh the clips are right there...I giggled a bit and showed him what the "clip" was for...It was like telling your 4 year old they are getting ice cream...His eyes got big and he was like...OMG a BRA for me....I was going to say..No for the baby to nurse...but I didn't have the heart too ruin his mini fantasy....Man I am lucky, he makes me laugh everyday....

ANOTHER BLESSING 6/24

2009-06-24T19:32:00.001-04:00

Hi there everyone…Cathi and I had another Ultrasound today at 11w 5d with the doctor and our little munchkin is growing so fast…We both find it so amazing how fast the baby is growing and how cute the baby has already become…I swear that when we look at this Ultrasound picture we can already tell that the baby has my nose and Cathi’s chin…

Our doctor told us today that we will take our baby home before Christmas and will be able to enjoy our newly born munchkin for the holidays…It is a surreal feeling to be going through all of this again and I can’t help but think of our three little angels who have passed…I know surely that they are watching over our new baby from heaven and must have certainly had a hand in how blessed we are today…

I have to brag a little looking at this picture and I don’t mean to offend anyone else, but I must say that Cathi makes the cutest babies in the world…There is no denying that our genes are very compatible and that our love makes the baby smile…I can still remember the Ultrasound of Gwyn when she was inside of Cathi and you could so easily make out the smile on her face…

I know this baby is smiling too and I know our new baby knows we are watching because the baby waved at us today in the Ultrasound…Even though I am familiar now with how everything goes along the long road of pregnancy, it still amazes me every time that little one moved around…The baby was flipping and hopping around in Cathi today like he or she was dancing…Cathi’s loving heartbeat must be like wonderful music to our little baby…I know all will be well with this pregnancy and that we will be blessed with another beautiful and perfect little child..

Gotta Get A TuTu.....6/18

2009-06-18T07:38:00.000-04:00

This is a picture of my Girlfriends daughter Regan. I got her the adorable TuTu from a triplet mommy friend, Astrid. She has a business making TuTu's and diaper cakes...You have to check out her website....So Affordable and So Adorable....

http://divinediapercakes.blogspot.com/

1/4 of the way Done....6/17

2009-06-17T09:34:00.000-04:00

We have made it past 10 weeks, so that means we are 1/4 of the way through..... I am feeling pretty good. I am still a little tired, Well last night I went to bed at 7pm....It felt good to sleep 11 hours. I must have needed it. Logan and my Lab Koko were right there with me...I think they are both having sympathy pains. They both eat and sleep like they are pregnant. It is nice to have so much support...I was finally able to stop my progesterone shots last night...WHOHOOOOO getting a needle in the buttocks every night for 10 weeks gets very old. My poor hips feel like pin cushions. But we are finally done. I go to see my O/B on 6/24...I can't wait to see the little one again. So I went to my chiropractor the other day. She asked what I was having, I told her we would not find out until the end of July....She looked at me and said Oh you are having a GIRL She said she sees pink all around me....So that is another vote for team pink.....I should find out next week when the appt we can find the sex out will be. I know it is usually around 16 weeks and I will be 11 weeks on Friday :)

We have Arm Buds!!!! 6/2

2009-06-02T13:44:00.001-04:00

Logan and I had our first appt. with my high risk Dr. today. I am 8weeks 4 days. We got to see Dr. Montenegro he is so awesome. The baby's heartbeat was 170 bpm, so it is pumping very fast. Logan got to see the little munchkin wiggling all around. The baby has sprouted little arm and leg buds. We have my Cerclage scheduled for 7/8/09 at 0830. I am excited. I think it will really put my mind at ease. We will have another ultrasound on 6/24. Dr. Monti seems to think we are cooking a GIRL. He was very cute about it....so we will have to see if his experience with tons of pregnant women is correct....It was really nice seeing all of the staff, they are so sweet. I guess the rumor around the hospital was I was having Twins....If I learned anything from being on bed rest for 2 months was...... the hospital really is like Grey's Anatomy....The rumors are awesome!!! I sent my nurses a text letting them know I was only having ONE baby this time. I can't wait to see everyone at the Cerglage....its more like a reunion and less like a painful surgery...lol Here is a picture of me at 8 weeks 2 days....No I didn't say 8 months....it is 8 weeks ....lol

2nd Ultrasound 5/28

2009-05-30T10:08:00.000-04:00

We had our second ultrasound on Thursday 5/28. It was only a week since we got to see our little miracle, but I never get tired of Ultrasounds. The baby has doubled in size and has a strong heartbeat. We have been released to my OB, so our first appointment with my High Risk OB on Tuesday 6/2. We will get to see our Little one again. Being High Risk has its advantages and disadvantaged. It makes the pregnancy a little scary, but we get to see the baby a few times a month...

I am feel very good. I have only had a few nights of morning sickness. I am extremely tired most of the time, but I am loving it. I will add a picture of me soon, I have popped out already. Having triplets 6 months ago must have sent my body into being very pregnant. I can't fit into any regular clothes.

THE POLLS ARE CLOSED!!!! 5/21

2009-05-21T11:06:00.000-04:00

The question was how many babies are in there? The votes have been counted.

Here were the final count....

107 votes

1 = 12%
2= 76%
3= 11 %

And the winner is..........ONE Health baby.... Thanks For playing

YOU NEED TO VOTE!!! 5/18

2009-05-18T12:58:00.000-04:00

We Find out on Thursdays how many we are expecting... So you have until 5/21 at 10am to cast your vote.....be careful what you wish for...lol

34 Weeks left...... 5/16

2009-05-16T08:30:00.000-04:00

Well we hit 6 weeks, We have our first ultrasound on the 21st I am soooo excited. Can't wait to see how many took. Today is my birthday....the big 32, its the last year I can switch the numbers around ...well, to my advantage....What and awesome birthday present...A baby and a beautiful flower from my wonderful hubby.

GREAT NEWS!!! 5/11

2009-05-12T17:43:00.000-04:00

Today I went back to the fertility doctor to have my beta done again. They didn't call me back until almost 4pm.....It was FREAKING torcher. Even a girlfriend of mine called to say she was on pins and needles. Finally Beth called me she said you are still definitely pregnant my beta was 3859. Still pretty high. We set my 1st ultrasound was scheduled for 5/21/09. We will find out how many little embryos took. We don't care we just want a boring pregnancy that results in a healthy baby or babies.

So this was my 1st official Mother's day. Honestly being on the Cruise helped me not really think to much about it. Logan was sweet and we had a great day in Puerto Rico. Today on our way to my in laws for dinner we stopped by the Babies grave site. I always pop in to make sure they are behaving...lol.....Well my flowers and pinwheels were still there. There was also these beautiful flowers and a card sitting on their head stone. I opened the card. My girlfriend Kelly R. wrote me the most wonderful Mother's Day card, It was one of the most thoughtful things I have ever received. (Thanks Kelly)

A Much needed VACATION!!!!! 5/6 - 5/10

2009-05-12T17:26:00.000-04:00

Well on May 6th we flew to Puerto Rico for a much needed Vacation. We planned the Royal Caribbean Cruise at Christmas, way before we decided to do frozen embryo transfer. We planned the transfer so I would already be pregnant for the cruise. Guiltless eating Whohooooo. Well we relaxed on the beach of St. Martin and St. Thomas. We also explored the rain forest of Puerto Rico. It was nice to escape the normal day to day. (Thanks Tom for the perfect Christmas present.) Logan and I got to sit on our veranda and watch the ocean go by. It gave me some quiet time in the middle of the ocean to really talk to my Angels.

It's Official.....We are expecting!!!!! 5/5

2009-05-05T20:08:00.000-04:00

The agonizing two week wait is finally over....Today 5/5/09 at 715am Logan and I made the drive to my fertility clinic. We were filled with excitement and anticipation. As soon as I saw Beth the IVF coordinator she had a grin, she asked "So Cathi, have you cheated?" I said well OF coarse I cheated, I couldn't wait two whole weeks.....She laughed and asked what the results were, I assumed by my ear to ear grin she already knew the answer. I said it was positive. Then Logan told her yeah she IS really pregnant. I laughed and asked him if he saw an extra line on the pregnancy test. He explained to Beth that as soon as I piddled on the stick it showed pregnant. So she took my blood work and told me she would call me later this afternoon. She added that she had an extremely busy day and wasn't sure when she would have time to call me. So I went to work, I am working a desk right now, they don't know I'm pregnant just that I had a procedure. I could hardly get through the day. I kept checking my phone to make sure it didn't accidentally shut off (really, I guess I am that girl...lol). The day couldn't have gone longer then at 246 I got the call. Beth called and confirmed what I already knew...We are pregnant.. So I asked her what my Beta was...She said 464 you are VERY pregnant....for those who are not used to infertility, at this stage you are lucky if your beta is over 100. So I go back on Monday for more Labs and a follow up Beta test. Then in two weeks we find out how many...

I just couldn't WAIT!!! 5/2

2009-05-03T08:39:00.000-04:00

Ok,Ok so I am like a kid who steams their Christmas presents open....I couldn't wait until Tuesday to find out if it took. I did a home pregnancy test and yes it is POSITIVE!!! Logan and I are so excited. We have spent the night talking about the possibilities. We will find out in a few weeks how many embryos took...right now I am just excited to continue our journey to parenthood......

The Waiting Game!!! 4/30

2009-04-30T20:17:00.000-04:00

It has been a week since implantation... I have to wait until Tuesday to find out if it took. I already feel like it is really working. I just know it in my heart. I just pray I get positive news. We leave for our Cruise to the Caribbean on Wednesday so I really need some good news. I can hardly sleep at night thinking about the possibilities of bringing a new healthy baby into this world. We have everything in place and now we just wait. I feel like a kid whose parents told them they were going to Disney World in the morning, except the morning is a week long....It is torcher...I really thought I was going to be fine....calm and cool....Unfortunately that is not the case i am so excited and filled with anticipation...Wish me luck......

New Beginnings 4/23

2009-04-24T12:58:00.000-04:00

Yesterday 4/23 we did what a year ago I never thought we would have to do. We put two of our frozen embryos back inside me. It seemed like yesterday I was going through invtro-fertalization. This time last year I was right in the middle of taking drugs and extracting eggs. We put three fresh embryos back and like magic we were expecting TRIPLETS. I struggled for years to keep a pregnancy past 6 weeks. Then I found myself getting past the "magical" 12 week mark. I wish now I wasn't so naive. I never considered the fact I could loose all of my babies. I was having a perfect pregnancy. I thought I was doing everything right. I was getting the registry taken care of and painting the nursery. I was expecting two boys and a girl. It couldn't get more perfect than that. I even sprung for a 4D ultrasound. So our families could experience the wonderful little babies. Then at 21weeks 4days. I was dilated and in labor. I never felt anything but tightness in my tummy. My doctors gave me an emergency cerclage and but me on horrific medication including magnesium sulfate. I was able to stop labor for a few days. But unfortunately at exactly 22 weeks, my First son Raiden Landon came into this world. Everyone thought he was so tiny and I guess at 15 oz he would seem that way. I got to watch him fight to breathe. I realized how awesome motherhood could possibly be. I was able to defy odds and hold on to the other two for almost 4 more weeks. At 25 weeks 5 days I delivered Ryker London and Gwyneth Bella... They were very sick, but god gave me a wonderful 10 days with Ryker and 18 days with Gwyn....

After almost 45days on complete bedrest, I had to relearn how to walk again. I fought hard and did physical therapy. I was back to full duty only 6 weeks after delivering my precious angels. My doctors asked me to wait 6 months before I attempted to have more children. Well at first this felt like an eternity. In reality it was exactly what I needed. I was able to really get happy and excited about the possibility of another baby. Yesterday, all of my hopes and dreams came closer to coming true. I was implanted with two embryos that were frozen last year. I feel so excited about the possibility of becoming a mommy again. I will always be a mom of three. But now I am looking forward to #4 or possibly #5. This is my story on the new journey of my quest to motherhood. Here is the first picture of our new baby...Well right now they look like a little ray of light...Pretty cool we got to see the actual conception... :)