The Waiting Game!!! 4/30

It has been a week since implantation... I have to wait until Tuesday to find out if it took. I already feel like it is really working. I just know it in my heart. I just pray I get positive news. We leave for our Cruise to the Caribbean on Wednesday so I really need some good news. I can hardly sleep at night thinking about the possibilities of bringing a new healthy baby into this world. We have everything in place and now we just wait. I feel like a kid whose parents told them they were going to Disney World in the morning, except the morning is a week long....It is torcher...I really thought I was going to be fine....calm and cool....Unfortunately that is not the case i am so excited and filled with anticipation...Wish me luck......

New Beginnings 4/23

Yesterday 4/23 we did what a year ago I never thought we would have to do. We put two of our frozen embryos back inside me. It seemed like yesterday I was going through invtro-fertalization. This time last year I was right in the middle of taking drugs and extracting eggs. We put three fresh embryos back and like magic we were expecting TRIPLETS. I struggled for years to keep a pregnancy past 6 weeks. Then I found myself getting past the "magical" 12 week mark. I wish now I wasn't so naive. I never considered the fact I could loose all of my babies. I was having a perfect pregnancy. I thought I was doing everything right. I was getting the registry taken care of and painting the nursery. I was expecting two boys and a girl. It couldn't get more perfect than that. I even sprung for a 4D ultrasound. So our families could experience the wonderful little babies. Then at 21weeks 4days. I was dilated and in labor. I never felt anything but tightness in my tummy. My doctors gave me an emergency cerclage and but me on horrific medication including magnesium sulfate. I was able to stop labor for a few days. But unfortunately at exactly 22 weeks, my First son Raiden Landon came into this world. Everyone thought he was so tiny and I guess at 15 oz he would seem that way. I got to watch him fight to breathe. I realized how awesome motherhood could possibly be. I was able to defy odds and hold on to the other two for almost 4 more weeks. At 25 weeks 5 days I delivered Ryker London and Gwyneth Bella... They were very sick, but god gave me a wonderful 10 days with Ryker and 18 days with Gwyn....

After almost 45days on complete bedrest, I had to relearn how to walk again. I fought hard and did physical therapy. I was back to full duty only 6 weeks after delivering my precious angels. My doctors asked me to wait 6 months before I attempted to have more children. Well at first this felt like an eternity. In reality it was exactly what I needed. I was able to really get happy and excited about the possibility of another baby. Yesterday, all of my hopes and dreams came closer to coming true. I was implanted with two embryos that were frozen last year. I feel so excited about the possibility of becoming a mommy again. I will always be a mom of three. But now I am looking forward to #4 or possibly #5. This is my story on the new journey of my quest to motherhood. Here is the first picture of our new baby...Well right now they look like a little ray of light...Pretty cool we got to see the actual conception... :)